Day Fifty Two - It's a Fool Who Plays It Cool By Making His World a Little Colder

I have never cheated on a partner (well....except maybe in board games but that's a different topic).  No....I don't think that I'm a saint or in any way deserving of a medal for being able to state that......and perhaps that's the problem with society.  I have a friend who is embarking on a new relationship with a fellow who has admitted to cheating in previous relationships.  He had "reasons" for doing so, although in his defense he did also seem to realize that those reasons all amount to trivial justifications of wrong doing.
So now she's asking me if she should still get involved with him.  I know what she wants to hear.  She wants me to tell her that his cheating was in the past with its own unique circumstances....that he has learned from his mistakes....that he really loves her and that love will keep him from hurting her.  I know that's what she wants to hear because that's what I've told myself in the past.......and of course, I was mistaken.
Should we be able to hold the past against the present?  Or should relationships be like court trials?  Only the current facts can be introduced and weighed?  Or is that just naive given human nature and patterns? Maybe this guy really did learn from the past.  A male friend of mine said it's in their DNA to spread their "seed" as much as humanly possible in order to propagate the species.  Uh.....right.  If you've evolved enough that you can now use a computer, no longer hunt for your food, and wouldn't be able to run 3 miles across a desert plain to escape Tyrannosaurus Rex.....I really don't think you should start pulling out the "in our DNA" card.
So again.....what to tell her?  This is what I wrote her:
"I'm not gonna lie.....my gut instinct tells me that his cheating (for whatever reason) has become a pattern for him.  Does that guarantee that he will cheat on you?  Of course not.  Maybe he's figured out why he chooses that route....maybe this time when the situation arises he'll choose a different path....maybe, maybe, maybe....in the end there is no predicting anyone's future actions HOWEVER we don't live in the future....and our decisions should be based on the present.  If you love this guy and choose to accept his past then you need to remain in the present with him.  You also need to be able to trust him completely or you may as well walk away right now.  In the end which will you regret more?  Walking away now and never knowing what might have been?  Or possibly having your heart broken?  Possibly.  How much does possibly mean to you?"

Day Forty Seven-Interpretation

I've mentioned several times about my obsession with signs.  I really do believe that the Universe sends us hints in the form of signs....coincidences....serendipity......unfortunately, to this day, I really have no idea on how to interpret those signs and sometimes it just kills me.
For instance, within the past few weeks I've had several misters from the past suddenly reappear.  POOF....out of the blue.  One sent a text...one of those "how have you been?" texts....another appeared in person....today I literally nearly ran into one merging onto the freeway....and then finally one who I blogged about (Agent J) appeared in my email inbox because apparently he is back on the dating site (no...don't worry, I won't bother him again).  WTF does it all mean???  Is it just random coincidences with no meaning whatsoever?  Is the Universe trying to tell me something? And if so, why can't the Universe spell it out clearly in Arial font size 12???
A few years ago I lost four very dear friends within about a year's time. All were near my age (or younger) and all happened rather suddenly and unexpectedly.  I had to take that as some sort of sign.  Besides the grief of losing people that I loved, I also felt the grief of things left unsaid. Everyone always says "I'm sure they knew how you felt.".......and, for the most part, I am sure that's correct.....but then why do I still feel regret at not having expressed those things?
So I took the message from that difficult time to mean that I need to consciously live my life with the absolute least amount of regret humanly possible.  Say too much....feel too much....try too much:
"I must learn to love the fool in me...the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.  It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of my human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my Fool."
And while I am glad that I have come to this conclusion, it still doesn't explain the recent blast from the past as far as dating.  I realize that I live on an island but it still seems like way too much coincidence in a compacted amount of time.  If you figure it out, please let me know. Thank you.