Monday, April 30, 2012
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Favorites: .....that's all
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| All a girl really wants is for one guy to prove to her that they are not all the same. |
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Day Forty Five-Shark Bait
Conversation with friend:
Friend: How did your date go?
Me: Really well.
Friend: Wow.....that's a first! Ummm...maybe we should work on your game now.
Me: Meh......I don't think I need a game.
Friend: How long have you been single now? I think you need game. You know that even those guys who insist that they have no game, really do....they are just unaware that they're playing it. It's like fishing and you're throwing all your bait in the water at once so the only thing that seems to attract are shark.
Me: I would rather make a total jackass of myself by saying too much or being too accessible than to try and play "the game" and have second thoughts and regrets. After a little bit of time goes by I'll forget the jackass feeling but I will never be able to live my life filled with regrets...........but if I get eaten by a shark feel free to shoot it.
Friend: How did your date go?
Me: Really well.
Friend: Wow.....that's a first! Ummm...maybe we should work on your game now.
Me: Meh......I don't think I need a game.
Friend: How long have you been single now? I think you need game. You know that even those guys who insist that they have no game, really do....they are just unaware that they're playing it. It's like fishing and you're throwing all your bait in the water at once so the only thing that seems to attract are shark.
Me: I would rather make a total jackass of myself by saying too much or being too accessible than to try and play "the game" and have second thoughts and regrets. After a little bit of time goes by I'll forget the jackass feeling but I will never be able to live my life filled with regrets...........but if I get eaten by a shark feel free to shoot it.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Day Forty Four-It's Gotta Be A Sign....
So after the umpteenth odd email, I made a decision to hide my profile on the dating website (unfortunately, I had also caved in and renewed it after they gave me one of those great deals that I always fall for). And then this was the weekend that I had:
First off I met the human incarnation of Pepe LePew....well, if Pepe had grown up in the deep south instead of France. I wish I had a picture of him because mere words just won't do justice. Very slim, VERY tan, slick 70's hair (with wings and all), trimmed (not shaved) chest hair, gold chain, mirrored sunglasses, and the clincher....a thin, extremely well manicured mustache (just the stache, no goatee). Admittedly, the accent was rather charming, but no Pepe....I don't think I would like to go to your house for a barbeque....I'm a bit afraid of which other cartoon characters might show up.....
Then the following day, Mr. 65-Year Old Guy hit on me in Whole Foods. I'm estimating his age, but my sister-in-law confirmed. You know that there is something amiss when your first reaction is...."oh, he's just making conversation.".......which turns into..."oh, do I know this guy?".......which turns into...."oh, is he the dad of one of my friends?"........which turns to slight horror as you realize that he's hitting on you. He drinks Kefir which apparently is good for your skin....maybe not so noticeable when you're 60-something, although maybe he was really 80-something and Kefir was doing wonders.
The online dating site is starting to look not so bad after all.........
First off I met the human incarnation of Pepe LePew....well, if Pepe had grown up in the deep south instead of France. I wish I had a picture of him because mere words just won't do justice. Very slim, VERY tan, slick 70's hair (with wings and all), trimmed (not shaved) chest hair, gold chain, mirrored sunglasses, and the clincher....a thin, extremely well manicured mustache (just the stache, no goatee). Admittedly, the accent was rather charming, but no Pepe....I don't think I would like to go to your house for a barbeque....I'm a bit afraid of which other cartoon characters might show up.....
Then the following day, Mr. 65-Year Old Guy hit on me in Whole Foods. I'm estimating his age, but my sister-in-law confirmed. You know that there is something amiss when your first reaction is...."oh, he's just making conversation.".......which turns into..."oh, do I know this guy?".......which turns into...."oh, is he the dad of one of my friends?"........which turns to slight horror as you realize that he's hitting on you. He drinks Kefir which apparently is good for your skin....maybe not so noticeable when you're 60-something, although maybe he was really 80-something and Kefir was doing wonders.
The online dating site is starting to look not so bad after all.........
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Day Forty Three-Need To Know Basis
So....I am under the impression that there is just NEVER a good time to divulge certain types of information. You can wait and wait....and wait for that ideal moment, but some statements, for instance: "I think we should see other people." or "I slept with your best friend." or "I have this little, pus-oozing sore..." will never be taken well regardless of timing. So when should you reveal certain (less traumatizing) truths?
I am wondering because, as I've mentioned, I am bipolar. Does it show, you ask? Not generally (but of course, that is my opinion), however there are times...like the past few weeks for instance...when I may feel the need to lay low...like REALLY low...because I simply lack the energy to do much more than the basics required to get by. If I make plans with you, odds are quite good that I will also cancel these plans...but odds are even better that I just won't make them in the first place. I may seem distant...distracted...sometimes not so much...sometimes much, much more......hard to say really (and yes, I am intentionally being rather vague).
Since I have never really discussed my disorder with anyone in my life until recently, I am at a bit of a loss. Do I owe people who might potentially get involved with me a warning? Or is this equivalent to say.....wearing a hairpiece or a padded bra? Is it on a similar scale of deception? I've gotten involved with someone who changed their behavior quite a bit over the course of months...but I suppose that's the "normal" dating protocol? Would you feel deceived if someone you were dating hid things from you? But then, when should it matter to know?
Or does it all come down to the Marilyn Monroe quote: "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
In the dating world we all get to know one another on our best behavior, so in a way, we all have our fingers crossed behind our backs. Is that what eventually determines love? The day the mask cracks and you realize that this is still the most wonderful person in the world?
I am wondering because, as I've mentioned, I am bipolar. Does it show, you ask? Not generally (but of course, that is my opinion), however there are times...like the past few weeks for instance...when I may feel the need to lay low...like REALLY low...because I simply lack the energy to do much more than the basics required to get by. If I make plans with you, odds are quite good that I will also cancel these plans...but odds are even better that I just won't make them in the first place. I may seem distant...distracted...sometimes not so much...sometimes much, much more......hard to say really (and yes, I am intentionally being rather vague).
Since I have never really discussed my disorder with anyone in my life until recently, I am at a bit of a loss. Do I owe people who might potentially get involved with me a warning? Or is this equivalent to say.....wearing a hairpiece or a padded bra? Is it on a similar scale of deception? I've gotten involved with someone who changed their behavior quite a bit over the course of months...but I suppose that's the "normal" dating protocol? Would you feel deceived if someone you were dating hid things from you? But then, when should it matter to know?
Or does it all come down to the Marilyn Monroe quote: "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
In the dating world we all get to know one another on our best behavior, so in a way, we all have our fingers crossed behind our backs. Is that what eventually determines love? The day the mask cracks and you realize that this is still the most wonderful person in the world?
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Day Forty Two-Scams
Conversation:
Friend: Did you see the news about people being scammed on Match.com?
Me: Yeah....but who the hell gives money to a total stranger?
Friend: You always end up giving money to boyfriends.
Me: Yeah....but that's different.
Friend: They never pay you back.....ask for more later.....and eventually disappear...sounds about the same to me.
Me: I think you just called me an idiot.....at least I must not look like an idiot because with all the whacked out emails that I've received no one has hit me up for money........yet.
Friend: That's probably because you look too disheveled to have any...
Me: Thanks.
Friend: Did you see the news about people being scammed on Match.com?
Me: Yeah....but who the hell gives money to a total stranger?
Friend: You always end up giving money to boyfriends.
Me: Yeah....but that's different.
Friend: They never pay you back.....ask for more later.....and eventually disappear...sounds about the same to me.
Me: I think you just called me an idiot.....at least I must not look like an idiot because with all the whacked out emails that I've received no one has hit me up for money........yet.
Friend: That's probably because you look too disheveled to have any...
Me: Thanks.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Day Forty One-The Laws of Attraction
Do you ever wonder what exactly controls who we are attracted to? I'm wondering. I mean, you can make a short....or long....list of all the qualities that you believe will lead to a happy relationship but does that really guarantee anything? Or is it all a big crapshoot?
I know people who set out with their list in hand...found someone who met all the prerequisites...got married........and are now divorced. I also know people who met someone by chance...married after a brief, whirlwind courtship........and are still married. Some of my friends say it's important to marry your best friend. Some say that you shouldn't share everything with your partner. If you could create an "ideal" partner for your lifetime, would you create the person who you're currently with?
I've been pondering these questions because lately it seems to me that my own attractions seem to have absolutely no rhyme or reason. I've met smart, funny men who I'm pretty sure that I should be quite happy and honored to spend time with....but I'm not. And then I've met odd, quirky men who most would say that I should run screaming from (okay, maybe not literally screaming) but whose company I enjoy and look forward to having. Am I THAT messed up? Am I intentionally sabotaging myself?? Or is it something out of my control?
Why do we connect with some people and not with others?
I read an article discussing reincarnation which suggested that perhaps we go through each lifetime meeting the same group of souls who will help guide us through our travels. The notion was that we will always feel a kinship with these people as they enter our lives in their various incarnations....hence forming relationships with some as opposed to others....you might seemingly be the completely WRONG person for me, but I feel this undeniable connection to you. If this whole run into the same souls thing is true, I REALLY wish this lifetime would send me a smart, kind, funny, hot, generous guy with oodles of money........meh, who am I kidding...I'll settle for just one of the above....
I know people who set out with their list in hand...found someone who met all the prerequisites...got married........and are now divorced. I also know people who met someone by chance...married after a brief, whirlwind courtship........and are still married. Some of my friends say it's important to marry your best friend. Some say that you shouldn't share everything with your partner. If you could create an "ideal" partner for your lifetime, would you create the person who you're currently with?
I've been pondering these questions because lately it seems to me that my own attractions seem to have absolutely no rhyme or reason. I've met smart, funny men who I'm pretty sure that I should be quite happy and honored to spend time with....but I'm not. And then I've met odd, quirky men who most would say that I should run screaming from (okay, maybe not literally screaming) but whose company I enjoy and look forward to having. Am I THAT messed up? Am I intentionally sabotaging myself?? Or is it something out of my control?
Why do we connect with some people and not with others?
I read an article discussing reincarnation which suggested that perhaps we go through each lifetime meeting the same group of souls who will help guide us through our travels. The notion was that we will always feel a kinship with these people as they enter our lives in their various incarnations....hence forming relationships with some as opposed to others....you might seemingly be the completely WRONG person for me, but I feel this undeniable connection to you. If this whole run into the same souls thing is true, I REALLY wish this lifetime would send me a smart, kind, funny, hot, generous guy with oodles of money........meh, who am I kidding...I'll settle for just one of the above....
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Day Forty-More Signs
I think I've already mentioned that I am a huge believer in signs. Unfortunately, I am not a huge decoder of these signs but oh well.....can't have it all. Several months ago I met up with someone from the dating site. It didn't go particularly well....it was one of those meetings where within 5 minutes you're already sure that this is not going to go anywhere other than to become a story in a blog. We parted and I never spoke to or saw this fellow again.
Well a couple of days ago I received an email from someone on the site. He surprisingly gave me his first and last name (lotsa guys seem reticent to give out that info right away) which kinda rang a little bell in my head....but being that I have the memory of a gnat, it was just a faint, distant bell.......until I read further. He also mentioned his line of work...an unusual specialty type of occupation...which made the bell ring a bit louder. I clicked on his profile picture and there it was......the spitting image (and by the way, is the phrase spitting or splitting?) of the guy that I met several months previous. No, it wasn't THE same guy but obviously his brother (hence the name briefly catching my attention). I spent the day wondering if I should email him back and explain that I do believe that I met his brother a while back...maybe they hadn't told one another that they are on this dating website? It was too funny a coincidence not to reveal it to him, so I did. I said something to the extent of...."Funny story...." and did a brief explanation (not going into the fact that the date didn't go anywhere and also not mentioning that we met off of the site as well). Brother #2 emailed me back with a "small world" type of comment and I thought we were done with this slightly amusing thread. Then the following day I receive another email from #2. This time he's referring to his "f*cking brother" messing things up for him and that it only just dawned on him that I met #1 through the site and not just out in the real world. After another f*cking and a sh*t in there as well (not directed at me but at his brother) I started to recall that #1 had mentioned that he had a twin....yes, TWIN brother who he did not get along with. Yeah....it took that much to jog my memory.
The really funny thing is that even if I hadn't gone out with #1, I still had no intentions of going out with #2 (even before his expletive filled rant) so really #1 hadn't messed anything up for him. I didn't feel the need to clarify details with him though. Mister seems to have some anger issues so I thought it best not to have any further contact with him...
So as far as signs go, I'm taking this as sign #2 that I really should cancel my membership (#1 being the email from the 68-year old). So now I'm just waiting on sign #3.......I'm pretty sure that he didn't say they were triplets.....
Well a couple of days ago I received an email from someone on the site. He surprisingly gave me his first and last name (lotsa guys seem reticent to give out that info right away) which kinda rang a little bell in my head....but being that I have the memory of a gnat, it was just a faint, distant bell.......until I read further. He also mentioned his line of work...an unusual specialty type of occupation...which made the bell ring a bit louder. I clicked on his profile picture and there it was......the spitting image (and by the way, is the phrase spitting or splitting?) of the guy that I met several months previous. No, it wasn't THE same guy but obviously his brother (hence the name briefly catching my attention). I spent the day wondering if I should email him back and explain that I do believe that I met his brother a while back...maybe they hadn't told one another that they are on this dating website? It was too funny a coincidence not to reveal it to him, so I did. I said something to the extent of...."Funny story...." and did a brief explanation (not going into the fact that the date didn't go anywhere and also not mentioning that we met off of the site as well). Brother #2 emailed me back with a "small world" type of comment and I thought we were done with this slightly amusing thread. Then the following day I receive another email from #2. This time he's referring to his "f*cking brother" messing things up for him and that it only just dawned on him that I met #1 through the site and not just out in the real world. After another f*cking and a sh*t in there as well (not directed at me but at his brother) I started to recall that #1 had mentioned that he had a twin....yes, TWIN brother who he did not get along with. Yeah....it took that much to jog my memory.
The really funny thing is that even if I hadn't gone out with #1, I still had no intentions of going out with #2 (even before his expletive filled rant) so really #1 hadn't messed anything up for him. I didn't feel the need to clarify details with him though. Mister seems to have some anger issues so I thought it best not to have any further contact with him...
So as far as signs go, I'm taking this as sign #2 that I really should cancel my membership (#1 being the email from the 68-year old). So now I'm just waiting on sign #3.......I'm pretty sure that he didn't say they were triplets.....
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