Friday, March 30, 2012
Day Thirty Nine-Medication
A little while back I went out with Mr. Smarty Pants. He was working on his graduate degree in Psychology and from our brief time emailing (I think we only exchanged one or two emails) he seemed like an interesting fellow to meet.
Another friend once introduced me to the idea that you should wonder what it would be like to kiss someone within say the first 15 minutes of meeting them...otherwise it means that you probably don't and won't have physical chemistry. I kinda think he might be on to something. Anyway, needless to say, I wasn't wondering what it would be like to kiss Mr. Smarty Pants within the first 15 minutes however we were having a rather interesting conversation.........until........I started feeling like I was in a lecture class in school. I realized that at some point Mr. SP had gotten up on his soap box and was talking at me on all sorts of subjects that he was an expert on. It wouldn't have been too bad except it went on for quite a while...and then he started on his opinions on various psychiatric issues.
By now I was mulling over exit strategies in my head while nodding in agreement to whatever he was ranting about. His conversation (can you call in conversation when it's completely one-sided?) turned to psychiatric disorders and the importance of pharmaceutical treatment.........and suddenly I blurted out that I have bipolar disorder and have refused medication for years. There was a brief moment of silence (which was nice) and then he looks at me and says "You really should be on medication."
I wasn't sure if that was an insult, suggestion, or his "professional" opinion because I really just threw it out there as my means of exiting study hall. I do have to say that this was the first time (on a first date) that someone told me that I should be medicated....usually it takes them a little longer to come to that conclusion.
No, there was no second date.
Another friend once introduced me to the idea that you should wonder what it would be like to kiss someone within say the first 15 minutes of meeting them...otherwise it means that you probably don't and won't have physical chemistry. I kinda think he might be on to something. Anyway, needless to say, I wasn't wondering what it would be like to kiss Mr. Smarty Pants within the first 15 minutes however we were having a rather interesting conversation.........until........I started feeling like I was in a lecture class in school. I realized that at some point Mr. SP had gotten up on his soap box and was talking at me on all sorts of subjects that he was an expert on. It wouldn't have been too bad except it went on for quite a while...and then he started on his opinions on various psychiatric issues.
By now I was mulling over exit strategies in my head while nodding in agreement to whatever he was ranting about. His conversation (can you call in conversation when it's completely one-sided?) turned to psychiatric disorders and the importance of pharmaceutical treatment.........and suddenly I blurted out that I have bipolar disorder and have refused medication for years. There was a brief moment of silence (which was nice) and then he looks at me and says "You really should be on medication."
I wasn't sure if that was an insult, suggestion, or his "professional" opinion because I really just threw it out there as my means of exiting study hall. I do have to say that this was the first time (on a first date) that someone told me that I should be medicated....usually it takes them a little longer to come to that conclusion.
No, there was no second date.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Day Thirty Eight-Limits
I think I reached mine. I received an email from a 68-year old guy today. 68. That's 24 years older than me and I'm no spring chicken (what the heck IS a spring chicken anyway?). My membership is expiring soon but every time I hit that breaking point and decide to cancel, they give me some ridiculous offer to continue my ridiculous online dating experiences.
Hmmmmm.......maybe I should try to drum up the $1000 finder's fee.....
Hmmmmm.......maybe I should try to drum up the $1000 finder's fee.....
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Day Thirty Seven-The Caste System
A while back a friend entertained the idea of introducing me to a friend of his. He showed me a group picture on his Facebook which included the introducee. As soon as I saw the photograph I told him that I couldn't possibly meet this guy, and of course, my friend asked "Why not?". I said, "He's so totally out of my league!"
So that brought up the discussion of the caste system of looks. You know that everyone does it. You see a couple and perhaps the woman is incredibly beautiful and the man not so much, and you think.....oh...he must have money. Or if the reverse is true then she must have money. Or he's gay. Everyone does it even if they won't admit it. How did he/she get that person???
So I ended up asking a friend at work for her opinion on the subject. She gave it some thought and told me the story of her daughter (who is very pretty). Apparently at some point her daughter dated a guy who was equally as physically gifted but it ended up not working out because he (and she) were used to being "the one" in the relationship...and suddenly having two of "the one" just wasn't working out dynamically. I had mentioned to my friend that I'm uncomfortable going out with someone considered traditionally handsome because I am so NOT traditionally pretty, and in my rather un-evolved mental cycle I can't quite get the two to live in harmony. So she suggested that perhaps the traditionally attractive in the world might prefer to be "the one" in the relationship and thus find comfort in being with someone posing less competition to their physical status.
Yes, yes, all very odd and somewhat reminiscent of Paleolithic days and some sort of survival of the fittest (well..in appearance anyway) but it is a fact. Many profiles that I read will state that the guy works out regularly and is in good shape and is thus looking for a woman who is also in good shape (and I really don't think he means her EKG reading or cholesterol levels). Or a guy will state that he looks considerably younger than his chronological age and is thus looking for a woman who looks equally as young (or younger). People wouldn't make those statements if the caste system didn't exist. I appear a certain way so I should be with someone who appears at a reasonably similar status? Of course, a problem occurs when either party does not have a realistic view of their own appearance. Hence the profiles where the fellow is NOT in good shape and/or considerably younger looking but he is still seeking a partner in great shape who looks very young. Or maybe they just fell asleep during the caste system class....
So that brought up the discussion of the caste system of looks. You know that everyone does it. You see a couple and perhaps the woman is incredibly beautiful and the man not so much, and you think.....oh...he must have money. Or if the reverse is true then she must have money. Or he's gay. Everyone does it even if they won't admit it. How did he/she get that person???
So I ended up asking a friend at work for her opinion on the subject. She gave it some thought and told me the story of her daughter (who is very pretty). Apparently at some point her daughter dated a guy who was equally as physically gifted but it ended up not working out because he (and she) were used to being "the one" in the relationship...and suddenly having two of "the one" just wasn't working out dynamically. I had mentioned to my friend that I'm uncomfortable going out with someone considered traditionally handsome because I am so NOT traditionally pretty, and in my rather un-evolved mental cycle I can't quite get the two to live in harmony. So she suggested that perhaps the traditionally attractive in the world might prefer to be "the one" in the relationship and thus find comfort in being with someone posing less competition to their physical status.
Yes, yes, all very odd and somewhat reminiscent of Paleolithic days and some sort of survival of the fittest (well..in appearance anyway) but it is a fact. Many profiles that I read will state that the guy works out regularly and is in good shape and is thus looking for a woman who is also in good shape (and I really don't think he means her EKG reading or cholesterol levels). Or a guy will state that he looks considerably younger than his chronological age and is thus looking for a woman who looks equally as young (or younger). People wouldn't make those statements if the caste system didn't exist. I appear a certain way so I should be with someone who appears at a reasonably similar status? Of course, a problem occurs when either party does not have a realistic view of their own appearance. Hence the profiles where the fellow is NOT in good shape and/or considerably younger looking but he is still seeking a partner in great shape who looks very young. Or maybe they just fell asleep during the caste system class....
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Day Thirty Six-$1000
I read this article the other day......
WATERTOWN, MA (WBZ/CNN) - If money can buy love, there's a Massachusetts florist who is ready to cash in.
Dave Greenberg is offering a thousand bucks to anyone who introduces him to his future wife.
"At the end of the aisle, they can be waiting there and I'll give them the cash. And they can be the guest of honor at the wedding, too," he said.
Greenberg doesn't have many requirements. She just needs to be over 50. His bride would also have to be willing to retire in San Diego with him.
Greenberg has even started a website, www.marrydave.com.
"I'm in good shape, I'm over 60. I'm very attentive to a woman, I like to do the little things for her. Totally honest, faithful and reliable," he said.
And as a florist, his future leading lady will always have fresh flowers on hand.
"I just want to meet a nice lady. We have chemistry we have physical appeal, I'd like to get married, I believe in marriage," he said.
If anyone wants to help a girl out, I've got $17 and a half eaten brownie......
Sunday, March 18, 2012
Day Thirty Five-Winking
The dating site has this thing called "winks". I really don't know what purpose they serve. Apparently if you create a profile but are too cheap to pay the membership fee....I mean, opt to not pay the membership fee....you can basically only send those winks. You cannot send messages...or read messages...or really communicate in any other way than by sending a wink.
First off, if you can't or don't have the $30 to spend on the membership fee perhaps you shouldn't be so concerned about dating right now. Just saying. I've read a number of profiles that state "I'm not a paying member at the moment..." ummmmm okay. So then they try to leave you a way to get in contact with them in encrypted cereal box decoder ring fashion to circumvent the website censors. I wonder if anyone actually takes that route?
Secondly, there's the mass winkers. I'll get winks from other states and out of curiosity I'll read the profile just to see how in the world they managed to find me. One day, I actually emailed someone to find out and he said that he was considering moving to Hawaii and sent out winks en masse to see what kind of response he would get.
I met someone once who initially sent the hated wink (which by this point I now ignored because WTF really is this option anyway?!?). He sent an email a couple days later and we eventually met up. I told him how the wink confuses me and he said he sends it out to see if the woman is interested....assuming that if she is she will then respond with an email. So I said....wouldn't it be easier to just send an email right off the bat? Initially, if I received a wink and the person seemed interesting, I would send an email....and then I would never hear back from them again. Was my email THAT bad? Did they lose interest in the period between sending the wink and my email? Did the cat hit the send wink button accidentally? So confusing and hence my dislike of the wink. The Wink Guy that I met said maybe those winkers weren't paying members so they couldn't read my email....in which case, why send the wink in the first place?!?
Maybe the site should create a new option for non-members...select one of the following:
"I'm too cheap to pay for a membership but I'd still like to go out with you."
"I don't know what to write but I'd still like to go out with you."
"I'm hitting on hundreds of women to increase my odds, but I really am especially interested in going out with you."
And really...who actually winks at a stranger in real life in order to meet them?
First off, if you can't or don't have the $30 to spend on the membership fee perhaps you shouldn't be so concerned about dating right now. Just saying. I've read a number of profiles that state "I'm not a paying member at the moment..." ummmmm okay. So then they try to leave you a way to get in contact with them in encrypted cereal box decoder ring fashion to circumvent the website censors. I wonder if anyone actually takes that route?
Secondly, there's the mass winkers. I'll get winks from other states and out of curiosity I'll read the profile just to see how in the world they managed to find me. One day, I actually emailed someone to find out and he said that he was considering moving to Hawaii and sent out winks en masse to see what kind of response he would get.
I met someone once who initially sent the hated wink (which by this point I now ignored because WTF really is this option anyway?!?). He sent an email a couple days later and we eventually met up. I told him how the wink confuses me and he said he sends it out to see if the woman is interested....assuming that if she is she will then respond with an email. So I said....wouldn't it be easier to just send an email right off the bat? Initially, if I received a wink and the person seemed interesting, I would send an email....and then I would never hear back from them again. Was my email THAT bad? Did they lose interest in the period between sending the wink and my email? Did the cat hit the send wink button accidentally? So confusing and hence my dislike of the wink. The Wink Guy that I met said maybe those winkers weren't paying members so they couldn't read my email....in which case, why send the wink in the first place?!?
Maybe the site should create a new option for non-members...select one of the following:
"I'm too cheap to pay for a membership but I'd still like to go out with you."
"I don't know what to write but I'd still like to go out with you."
"I'm hitting on hundreds of women to increase my odds, but I really am especially interested in going out with you."
And really...who actually winks at a stranger in real life in order to meet them?
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Day Thirty Four-Facebook
I am finding that the Facebook "Friend" request can be a very tricky road to navigate when dating. On the one hand, you can find out a LOT about a person by reading what is posted on their wall. I will admit that I decided not to go out with someone because they "liked" politicians and/or groups with a conservative agenda. I posted earlier that I also decided not to go out with someone who was "Friends" with an unusual amount of half-naked women living in various parts of the world. On the other hand, it can open way too many cans of worms that you really don't want to handle....
I had emailed with someone (but not met in person yet) from whom I accepted a "Friend" request. He seemed relatively drama-free (an important factor when accepting requests) so it seemed harmless enough. On first glance, his page seemed fine....postings on family, food, or activities. After a while though, I began to notice that he would often have rather whiny posts....about not having someone to do something with....eating alone....not having a Valentine. Granted, I'm sure those were his legitimate heartfelt feelings towards his situation but perhaps that may be a reflection on why he is single? Just speculating.....
Yes, I would LOVE to be in a blissfully joyous relationship with someone wonderful, but do I feel particularly self-pitying that I am not? Eh...not really. In fact, the only thing so far that has really been a challenge for me as a single person is going on a vacation somewhere. I'm not afraid to travel alone but I do have the WORST sense of direction....it's so bad that I do believe it qualifies as an actual disability. Otherwise I definitely don't feel sorry for myself and my circumstance, and for the most part, find quite a bit of amusement at the situations that I sometimes find myself in.
So back to Whiny Guy....we had been emailing a bit but given my newfound information, I was quickly losing interest in continuing and/or actually meeting. At that point Whiny Guy sent an email giving me an ultimatum of either meeting up or perhaps ceasing all communications. Okay....so that was done.........at least I thought so. SURPRISE....a few weeks later he was back with another email. I think he might have missed that class on how to properly issue and follow through on an ultimatum. I also think that ultimatums carry much more weight when the parties have a vested interest in the future....not so much when you don't really know the person, have never actually met, and are still getting a feel for the type of person they are. Anyway, I decided not to respond because I was now COMPLETELY sure that I did not want to meet. Several emails later (none responded to) I received a second ultimatum and this time he "Unfriended" me. Wow.....so I'm thinking imagine if you were actually involved with this guy??
A male friend of mine said that he tries at all costs to avoid accepting any "Friend" requests from any woman that he's dating. It only makes for unnecessary drama...especially if you're simply dating and not in a committed relationship. I can definitely see his point. But then how do you gracefully NOT accept a request?
I had emailed with someone (but not met in person yet) from whom I accepted a "Friend" request. He seemed relatively drama-free (an important factor when accepting requests) so it seemed harmless enough. On first glance, his page seemed fine....postings on family, food, or activities. After a while though, I began to notice that he would often have rather whiny posts....about not having someone to do something with....eating alone....not having a Valentine. Granted, I'm sure those were his legitimate heartfelt feelings towards his situation but perhaps that may be a reflection on why he is single? Just speculating.....
Yes, I would LOVE to be in a blissfully joyous relationship with someone wonderful, but do I feel particularly self-pitying that I am not? Eh...not really. In fact, the only thing so far that has really been a challenge for me as a single person is going on a vacation somewhere. I'm not afraid to travel alone but I do have the WORST sense of direction....it's so bad that I do believe it qualifies as an actual disability. Otherwise I definitely don't feel sorry for myself and my circumstance, and for the most part, find quite a bit of amusement at the situations that I sometimes find myself in.
So back to Whiny Guy....we had been emailing a bit but given my newfound information, I was quickly losing interest in continuing and/or actually meeting. At that point Whiny Guy sent an email giving me an ultimatum of either meeting up or perhaps ceasing all communications. Okay....so that was done.........at least I thought so. SURPRISE....a few weeks later he was back with another email. I think he might have missed that class on how to properly issue and follow through on an ultimatum. I also think that ultimatums carry much more weight when the parties have a vested interest in the future....not so much when you don't really know the person, have never actually met, and are still getting a feel for the type of person they are. Anyway, I decided not to respond because I was now COMPLETELY sure that I did not want to meet. Several emails later (none responded to) I received a second ultimatum and this time he "Unfriended" me. Wow.....so I'm thinking imagine if you were actually involved with this guy??
A male friend of mine said that he tries at all costs to avoid accepting any "Friend" requests from any woman that he's dating. It only makes for unnecessary drama...especially if you're simply dating and not in a committed relationship. I can definitely see his point. But then how do you gracefully NOT accept a request?
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Friday, March 9, 2012
Day Thirty Three-Rules
Conversation with friend (the same friend from a previous post who doesn't approve of me being on the "Home Shopping Dating Network"):
Friend: Hey...what about W? He's single and really needs a woman.....
Me: There's a rule that I can't date anyone who weighs less and has smaller biceps than me.
Friend: Small guys need love too.
Me: True......but it's an actual rule...in writing even.
Friend: Then how about K? I think he weighs more than you?
Me: Yeah but he gives me the creeps.
Friend: Is that a rule in writing too?
Me: Now it is.
Friend: Hey...what about W? He's single and really needs a woman.....
Me: There's a rule that I can't date anyone who weighs less and has smaller biceps than me.
Friend: Small guys need love too.
Me: True......but it's an actual rule...in writing even.
Friend: Then how about K? I think he weighs more than you?
Me: Yeah but he gives me the creeps.
Friend: Is that a rule in writing too?
Me: Now it is.
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Day Thirty Two-Really?
Just a few of the things that I've read in profiles:
- "I'm not really athletic and toned but I checked it off because I'm trying to work on it" ....would that be the equivalent of me saying that I'm flat chested but I could be otherwise if someone bought me some knockers? What is that all about??? And do you really want someone who will only want to be with you because you're working on looking like someone else?
- "I'm not really fussy about how you look or what you do but I hope that you can cook."
- "I would like a woman that can take charge of my stuff." .....I'm not sure what "my stuff" refers to so I suppose he could be looking for either an accountant, maid, or dominatrix?
- "Where's the love for short guys?"
- "If you're not gonna respond to emails then why are you on a dating site?" .....yeah....I REALLY don't think that's going to encourage any responses....
- "I have 6 children that live with me..." (sorry but I didn't get any further than that line...)
- "My ex-wife decided that she would rather be with my best friend so she just up and left and....." ....and I was told that I share TOO MUCH INFORMATION....
- "I is looking for a womens for my solemate." ....apparently the site doesn't support spell or grammar check........
- "I'm not really athletic and toned but I checked it off because I'm trying to work on it" ....would that be the equivalent of me saying that I'm flat chested but I could be otherwise if someone bought me some knockers? What is that all about??? And do you really want someone who will only want to be with you because you're working on looking like someone else?
- "I'm not really fussy about how you look or what you do but I hope that you can cook."
- "I would like a woman that can take charge of my stuff." .....I'm not sure what "my stuff" refers to so I suppose he could be looking for either an accountant, maid, or dominatrix?
- "Where's the love for short guys?"
- "If you're not gonna respond to emails then why are you on a dating site?" .....yeah....I REALLY don't think that's going to encourage any responses....
- "I have 6 children that live with me..." (sorry but I didn't get any further than that line...)
- "My ex-wife decided that she would rather be with my best friend so she just up and left and....." ....and I was told that I share TOO MUCH INFORMATION....
- "I is looking for a womens for my solemate." ....apparently the site doesn't support spell or grammar check........
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
Thursday, March 1, 2012
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