I've mentioned several times about my obsession with signs. I really do believe that the Universe sends us hints in the form of signs....coincidences....serendipity......unfortunately, to this day, I really have no idea on how to interpret those signs and sometimes it just kills me.
For instance, within the past few weeks I've had several misters from the past suddenly reappear. POOF....out of the blue. One sent a text...one of those "how have you been?" texts....another appeared in person....today I literally nearly ran into one merging onto the freeway....and then finally one who I blogged about (Agent J) appeared in my email inbox because apparently he is back on the dating site (no...don't worry, I won't bother him again). WTF does it all mean??? Is it just random coincidences with no meaning whatsoever? Is the Universe trying to tell me something? And if so, why can't the Universe spell it out clearly in Arial font size 12???
A few years ago I lost four very dear friends within about a year's time. All were near my age (or younger) and all happened rather suddenly and unexpectedly. I had to take that as some sort of sign. Besides the grief of losing people that I loved, I also felt the grief of things left unsaid. Everyone always says "I'm sure they knew how you felt.".......and, for the most part, I am sure that's correct.....but then why do I still feel regret at not having expressed those things?
So I took the message from that difficult time to mean that I need to consciously live my life with the absolute least amount of regret humanly possible. Say too much....feel too much....try too much:
"I must learn to love the fool in me...the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of my human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my Fool."
And while I am glad that I have come to this conclusion, it still doesn't explain the recent blast from the past as far as dating. I realize that I live on an island but it still seems like way too much coincidence in a compacted amount of time. If you figure it out, please let me know. Thank you.
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