Day Fifty Two - It's a Fool Who Plays It Cool By Making His World a Little Colder

I have never cheated on a partner (well....except maybe in board games but that's a different topic).  No....I don't think that I'm a saint or in any way deserving of a medal for being able to state that......and perhaps that's the problem with society.  I have a friend who is embarking on a new relationship with a fellow who has admitted to cheating in previous relationships.  He had "reasons" for doing so, although in his defense he did also seem to realize that those reasons all amount to trivial justifications of wrong doing.
So now she's asking me if she should still get involved with him.  I know what she wants to hear.  She wants me to tell her that his cheating was in the past with its own unique circumstances....that he has learned from his mistakes....that he really loves her and that love will keep him from hurting her.  I know that's what she wants to hear because that's what I've told myself in the past.......and of course, I was mistaken.
Should we be able to hold the past against the present?  Or should relationships be like court trials?  Only the current facts can be introduced and weighed?  Or is that just naive given human nature and patterns? Maybe this guy really did learn from the past.  A male friend of mine said it's in their DNA to spread their "seed" as much as humanly possible in order to propagate the species.  Uh.....right.  If you've evolved enough that you can now use a computer, no longer hunt for your food, and wouldn't be able to run 3 miles across a desert plain to escape Tyrannosaurus Rex.....I really don't think you should start pulling out the "in our DNA" card.
So again.....what to tell her?  This is what I wrote her:
"I'm not gonna lie.....my gut instinct tells me that his cheating (for whatever reason) has become a pattern for him.  Does that guarantee that he will cheat on you?  Of course not.  Maybe he's figured out why he chooses that route....maybe this time when the situation arises he'll choose a different path....maybe, maybe, maybe....in the end there is no predicting anyone's future actions HOWEVER we don't live in the future....and our decisions should be based on the present.  If you love this guy and choose to accept his past then you need to remain in the present with him.  You also need to be able to trust him completely or you may as well walk away right now.  In the end which will you regret more?  Walking away now and never knowing what might have been?  Or possibly having your heart broken?  Possibly.  How much does possibly mean to you?"