The online dating world seems to be separated into two general segments (sorta like right and left lobes of the brain). On one side are those who seem to want to meet immediately. No foreplay email to get a glimpse of just who this person might be.....just look at some photographs, say "hi", and let's meet. That makes me a little uncomfortable. I'm not sure if it's because:
1. I want to at least have a general feel for someone before agreeing to meet them in person.
2. Possibly Google them to see if they might be on any offensive list or indiscreetly posting naked pictures of themselves (or others).
3. Or because I'm thinking that they might be incapable of writing a decent paragraph.
And while there apparently are people (on the other lobe) who want to exclusively communicate via email and/or text and never actually meet in person (yeah, I know.....just as telling and odd in its own way) which would be okay if I was interested in a pen pal but otherwise a little unfulfilling to say the least.......I have found that I may be more.....or even initially attracted to someone with interesting writing skills.
This is a relatively new discovery for me. No one writes letters any longer. We talk on the phone....write little snippet text messages....perhaps a quick email....but when is the last time that you wrote to someone who you see regularly in your life? I mean REALLY write....ask questions....dig deeper....express something that you wouldn't normally bring up in day to day conversation. Are we starting to lose our communication skills?
I had a pen pal in grade school. I no longer remember her name or much about her letters (I don't save things) but I do recall that she lived in Iowa (which seemed very Little House on the Prairie to me so I imagined that my pen pal was Laura Ingalls Wilder) and had large, loopy handwriting. My mom used to correspond with her sister (who lived on Maui) for much of their adult life. I remember seeing the incoming and outgoing letters and the excitement that my mom would have when a new letter arrived. She would always save reading it for that brief quiet time that she had between work and the busy household. I would peak in her room and see her sitting at her desk reading.....pages too...not just a brief one page letter but pages of handwriting. The letters went back and forth until my aunt passed away a few years ago.
Where am I going with this thread? What constitutes and sustains attraction? I posted this quote a little while back:
"For a relationship to stay alive, love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, boredom. Relationships fail not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining."
Perhaps when we step out of our box and experiment with various means of expression and communication we may be able to see much more of individuals than we ever could have otherwise.
I agree that letters are becoming a lost art. People asked me if I read the book, 50 shades of grey, and I said, if the writing is atrocious----or mundane----(i.e., lacks creativity...) why would I find that to be sexy? Yep, you need to switch my brain on, in order for the rest of it to follow....!
ReplyDeleteespecially in the art of writing.....we often write and speak very differently so both forms are important.......yes...sexy is much more than sex.......
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