Friday, December 30, 2011

Day Six-Proclivities

A friend of mine once set me up with a friend of his.  While having dinner we somehow got on the subject of "things that people might not guess about you"....at which point Foot Guy launched into his obsession with feet.  Not like just massaging feet or pretty painted toenails on feet (although he appreciated those as well) but as in feet being rubbed all over him.....ALL over him.  So much so, that I'm not sure if he even appreciated any other contact (I never found out personally).  
I rarely, if ever, get perturbed hearing about people's idiosyncrasies....in fact, it will probably make me want to be your best friend, so the foot thing wouldn't have been an issue if I didn't have the world's ugliest feet.  No...let me reconsider...yeah, I'm not sure if I could've been satisfied if the entirety of our physical relationship consisted of only foot contact.
The other day, a friend mentioned that she believes that you need to have sex with someone at least twice to figure out if it'll work or not.  I subscribe to the three times rule.  The first time is rarely ever good....it's sort of like ballroom dancing...you need to figure out who is leading and at which points...find the correct rhythm...it's difficult balancing on heels...and you're naked in front of someone for the first time (well, okay that doesn't apply to dancing).  The second time you're more comfortable and heck, the question of whether or not you're getting laid has already been answered.  And by the third time the proclivities start to surface which can make for exceptional fun or a beeline for the door.
A friend of mine slept with a woman whose prosthetic leg came off during their first time...another had someone fall asleep...another was attacked by the cat...another said their date apparently contracted food poisoning over dinner and was wretchedly sick.  I haven't had any memorable first time occurrences like the preceding however I once went out with a guy who had so many moles all over his torso that the 10,000 Maniacs song "the stars were so many there, they seemed to overlap" kept playing in my head.  

2 comments:

  1. I would've grabbed a sharpie. Connect the dots lalalalaaaa

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  2. hahahaha!!! believe me, the thought did enter my head...which needless to say, kinda put a damper on the whole mood of the moment...

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