I've been single for a while now....maybe two years? Maybe more. I seem to travel in my own infinite circle on a daily basis making it challenging to meet a like-minded partner.....who is single...who isn't gay...has his own income...has bigger balls than me (no, not literally). So I decided to give online dating a shot. It hasn't been a particularly successful foray, but it has made for entertaining party stories like this one....
I met DeepSea Diver Guy and he was funny and attractive and witty and I started thinking that this online dating stuff was a pretty damn good idea. We saw each other several times and I suppose I should have recognized his waving red flag when he would get these stealthy knocks on his front door to which he would always go outside and close the door behind him. He chalked it up to an ex who was not getting the message and insisted on randomly dropping by. I'm pretty sure that in the Single Girl's Handbook, Chapter Four has something about not ignoring signs based on a person's attractiveness....but I dunno, I seem to have skipped over that part.
Then one night at a restaurant he suddenly freaks out and launches into a story about some guy sitting a few seats down the bar who he had a run in with. DeepSea Guy is obviously very upset but the other guy.....not so much...doesn't even seem to notice DeepSea Guy at all. He insists that we leave immediately (luckily I was done eating).
Then, the same night we hear some voices outside his place and what could possibly be another one of those stealthy knocks. DeepSea Guy runs to his closet, pulls out a revolver, and goes storming off to the door. I have no idea if his imaginary target practice was out there and no shots were fired but needless to say I never did see DeepSea Guy again. And I actually like firing guns.....just not at imaginary foes.
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