Day Forty Five-Shark Bait

Conversation with friend:
Friend:  How did your date go?
Me:  Really well.
Friend:  Wow.....that's a first!  Ummm...maybe we should work on your game now.
Me:  Meh......I don't think I need a game.
Friend:  How long have you been single now? I think you need game.  You know that even those guys who insist that they have no game, really do....they are just unaware that they're playing it.  It's like fishing and you're throwing all your bait in the water at once so the only thing that seems to attract are shark.
Me:  I would rather make a total jackass of myself by saying too much or being too accessible than to try and play "the game" and have second thoughts and regrets.  After a little bit of time goes by I'll forget the jackass feeling but I will never be able to live my life filled with regrets...........but if I get eaten by a shark feel free to shoot it.

Today's Song in my Head: "Rumour Has It" - Adele

Favorites: Bob Marley

Day Forty Four-It's Gotta Be A Sign....

So after the umpteenth odd email, I made a decision to hide my profile on the dating website (unfortunately, I had also caved in and renewed it after they gave me one of those great deals that I always fall for).  And then this was the weekend that I had:
First off I met the human incarnation of Pepe LePew....well, if Pepe had grown up in the deep south instead of France.  I wish I had a picture of him because mere words just won't do justice.  Very slim, VERY tan, slick 70's hair (with wings and all), trimmed (not shaved) chest hair, gold chain, mirrored sunglasses, and the clincher....a thin, extremely well manicured mustache (just the stache, no goatee).  Admittedly, the accent was rather charming, but no Pepe....I don't think I would like to go to your house for a barbeque....I'm a bit afraid of which other cartoon characters might show up.....
Then the following day, Mr. 65-Year Old Guy hit on me in Whole Foods. I'm estimating his age, but my sister-in-law confirmed.  You know that there is something amiss when your first reaction is...."oh, he's just making conversation.".......which turns into..."oh, do I know this guy?".......which turns into...."oh, is he the dad of one of my friends?"........which turns to slight horror as you realize that he's hitting on you.  He drinks Kefir which apparently is good for your skin....maybe not so noticeable when you're 60-something, although maybe he was really 80-something and Kefir was doing wonders.
The online dating site is starting to look not so bad after all.........

Today's Song in my Head: TORI AMOS live "SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW"

Day Forty Three-Need To Know Basis

So....I am under the impression that there is just NEVER a good time to divulge certain types of information.  You can wait and wait....and wait for that ideal moment, but some statements, for instance:  "I think we should see other people." or "I slept with your best friend." or "I have this little, pus-oozing sore..." will never be taken well regardless of timing. So when should you reveal certain (less traumatizing) truths?
I am wondering because, as I've mentioned, I am bipolar.  Does it show, you ask?  Not generally (but of course, that is my opinion), however there are times...like the past few weeks for instance...when I may feel the need to lay low...like REALLY low...because I simply lack the energy to do much more than the basics required to get by.  If I make plans with you, odds are quite good that I will also cancel these plans...but odds are even better that I just won't make them in the first place.  I may seem distant...distracted...sometimes not so much...sometimes much, much more......hard to say really (and yes, I am intentionally being rather vague).
Since I have never really discussed my disorder with anyone in my life until recently, I am at a bit of a loss.  Do I owe people who might potentially get involved with me a warning?  Or is this equivalent to say.....wearing a hairpiece or a padded bra?  Is it on a similar scale of deception?  I've gotten involved with someone who changed their behavior quite a bit over the course of months...but I suppose that's the "normal" dating protocol?  Would you feel deceived if someone you were dating hid things from you?  But then, when should it matter to know?
Or does it all come down to the Marilyn Monroe quote:  "I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure.  I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle.  But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."
In the dating world we all get to know one another on our best behavior, so in a way, we all have our fingers crossed behind our backs.  Is that what eventually determines love?  The day the mask cracks and you realize that this is still the most wonderful person in the world?

Today's Song in my Head: Train - "Drops Of Jupiter"