Day Twenty Four-How Do You Meet Someone?

Friend:  I don't know about this online dating thing.....don't you ever meet people in real time?
Me:  Like where?
Friend:  I dunno.....how about when you go up Koko Crater?
Me:  Ummmm.....yeah, there are a LOT of guys on the mountain but I think it's become a gay pick-up spot.  Besides, have you seen what I look like going up the mountain??  Sweat is flying...I can barely talk...I'm all flushed (and not in a good way).  Although.....I did meet my brother's married friend on the hill.....
Friend:  How about at the beach?
Me:  I did meet a guy in Speedos who asked me to put lotion on his back and another guy (not in Speedos, but in tie-dye) who bore an uncanny resemblance to a less attractive version of David Crosby.
Friend:  Through mutual friends?
Me:  Well......my friend wants to introduce me to a friend of hers but she described him as kinda slow (which also makes me wonder what my friends think of me).
Friend:  Yeah..........you're screwed.
Me:  Thanks.  Ummm........you might want to use a more appropriate word...just sayin'........

Today's Song in my Head: "Wild Horses" - The Rolling Stones 1995

Day Twenty Three-Terminology

I'm not absolutely positive, but I am relatively sure, that the term "separated" when used in regards to your current relationship status actually means that you are in the process of ending your marriage.  It does not simply mean that you are now located in a different vicinity from your spouse (ie: separated by a body of water).  There seems to be a large proportion of transient workers in Hawaii (military, construction, rail) who are apparently lonely and would like female company.  I think the general rule of thumb is:
A profile without any photograph, the term "separated", and the notation that the person is new to the island might possibly merit a red flag.
"Separated" has all sorts of negative connotations, doesn't it?  For instance, why is it that you're separated and not divorced?  And how long have you been separated?  If it hasn't been very long there is the whole issue of rebounding, and if it has been very long...well....we're back to the first question.  It's a bit of a tricky designation.  As is "Never Married".  I've never been married and I'm 46.  I considered fibbing and saying that I was "Divorced" because honestly...I would be wondering why someone is 46 and has never been married.  Is it that they just never met the right person?  Are they a pain in the a** that no one wants to marry?  Is it a religious thing?  Are they trying to protect the fortune that they have stashed away?  Or do they just not believe in marriage? In which case, do they also not believe in monogamy?
And why is it that "Never Married" when pertaining to a man is deemed rather cool and independent but when pertaining to a woman conjures up images of 14 nappy cats and a housecoat?

Today's Song in my Head: Lori Carson - "Something's Got Me"

Today's Song in my Head: Paula Cole - "Feelin' Love"

Day Twenty Two-Good Morning

I woke up to this email:
Can you speak any other languages?  It's really hot when Asian (he actually wrote "oriental") girls speak other languages.
My response:
I have a working knowledge of pidgin and I'm reasonably fluent in smart-ass.  Does that count?


Seriously???

Today's Song in my Head: Corinne Bailey Rae - "I'd Do It All Again"